ENG121 Week 4 – Discussion Revision
Ashford Writing Center – Revision [ WLOs: 1, 2, 3, 4] [CLOs: 2, 3, 4]
Prepare: Prior to beginning work on this discussion,
View the following websites: Paper Review (Links to an external site.), Grammar & Punctuation (Links to an external site.), and Writing a Paper from the Ashford Writing Center (Links to an external site.).
Read Chapter 7: Revising, Editing, and Proofreading in Essentials of College Writing.
Read and reflect upon the feedback received from the Ashford Writing Center’s Paper Review once you receive it. For instructions on how to retrieve your reviewed paper, see the Writing Center’s Paper Review (Links to an external site.) page. Fix My GPA will help you complete your online class,
Reflect: Review the feedback you received from the Ashford Writing Center and consider how you will apply their suggestions as you develop your draft into a final critical response essay. Consider the revision, proofreading, and editing steps you have taken in the last two weeks. Were they effective? How can you make the revision process—especially proofreading and editing—a part of every assignment in college and the workplace?
Write: Your initial post must be 300-400 words in length and posted by Day 3. In your initial post, please do the following:
Isolate a section of your paper (for example, the introduction and first few body paragraphs) that was heavily revised. Post your original paragraphs and your final, revised paragraphs based on the Writing Center’s feedback in the discussion. Be sure to label them accordingly.
Respond to the feedback by offering:
A summary of what you learned from their comments; Fix My GPA will help you complete your online class,
The top three issues uncovered in your work (e.g. thesis statement, paragraph structure, grammar);
A three- to five-point plan of items you will address or revise for your final critical response essay; and
Your thoughts on how you plan to use the services of the Ashford Writing Center in future courses.
Guided Response: Respond to at least two of your classmates’ posts by Day 7. Your response must be at least 200 words. In each response,Fix My GPA will help you complete your online class,
Reflect on the peer-review process from last week and the review from the Writing Center this week. Offer your classmate some thoughts and questions on the experience of having others review one’s work.
Take a look at your classmate’s plans and offer a reliable web page or other source that addresses an aspect of his/her revision. In addition to the Ashford Writing Center, what are some other resources that are helpful?
Determine if you can you share in your classmate’s plans for revision. Why is it helpful to share ideas in the writing process?
This discussion will be assessed on a 10-point scale and is worth 5% of your final grade
ENG121 Week 4 – Discussion Revision Answer
After I received my feedback from the writing center, I saw that I had at least one issues. The only major issue I had was adding a strong thesis statement. I began with a weak thesis, which is a very poor start for my paper. The thesis statement was unclear, and I need to add more information to body paragraphs. Quotation and phrases need to be clearer as well.
My original introductory paragraph:
To Scratch, Claw, or Grope Clumsily or Frantically
“Gay is impelled to be a great scrabble player and to get to the end of the competition. Believing that she can do it and setting a goal to achieve, is what helped her succeed in what she plans to do”. This was my intended thesis statement before revision.
April basically advised me to create a stronger and clearer thesis statement. She also mentioned that I need more information to create more comprehensive body paragraphs. Therefore, I changed the thesis statement altogether. The whole paper may even be revised altogether in light of the new thesis…………
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